before:
only come out if you are in an environment where it is safe to do so. if you choose to come out in a potentially unsafe environment, please make sure that you have a back-up plan and people to contact if things do not go well.
there is no right time to come out. make sure you are only coming out when you are ready to.
if you have LGBTQ+ people in your life who are out, feel free to ask them for advice if you feel comfortable. of course, they’re not obligated to give it to you (coming out can be a very personal experience), but asking respectfully can’t hurt.
prepare for a variety of reactions and try not to take negative reactions personally. this is much easier said than done.
during:
there is no one-size-fits-all for coming out. come out to whomever you’d like however you’d like, keeping your safety and respect for other identities in mind.
you may find that telling someone you trust a lot and know will be accepting is a good first step.
if you’re not sure that someone you’re considering coming out to will be accepting, introduce LGBTQ+ topics to gauge their reaction.
after:
be patient with yourself and remember that your identity may be brand new to the people you come out to.
don’t feel pressure to answer probing questions you’re not comfortable answering. an alternative could be to send them resources to explore independently, but establish and enforce your boundaries.
there is no one way to live out your identity. you don’t have to adhere to stereotypes or cultural accepted norms, but you certainly can.
if your label, name, or pronouns change after you’ve already come out, that’s okay! gender and sexuality are both incredibly fluid and you are not ‘faking it’ by identifying differently at different points in your life. that being said, if nothing changes for you, that’s also okay! everyone’s experiences and journeys are different.
coming out is a life-long process (and you don’t ever have to come out!) and there will always be people in your life who don’t know. this can be really challenging, but you are not alone <3
other resources to explore!